It’s confusing (Take two)

Wow.  I started this post over 2 hours ago. Then….

    • Some robins played Marco Polo in the birdbath outside the kitchen window while I watched, then…
    • Message: ! Saving draft failed.  X,  then...
    • Why failed? Let’s find out why, then…
    • Does Email work?  Ooh, incoming., then…
    • Watch b>b episodes of YouTube: Johnny Carson, Robin Williams & Jonathan Winters together, SNL Top 10 performers list etc., then…
    • Download INFJ Guide, then…  reading…. then, hungry… then, texting, more reading, then…
    • Laundry, then…To-Do List, then
    • Oh yeah…I was writing a post, wasn’t I?  Doh…now I remember, it wouldn’t SAVE! Command C, close the browser window, start over, Paste, DOH!  It saved the Page Menu!!

      So back to the drawing board.

      I want to make note of the conflicting emotions I am experiencing today about selling this house to move to another. Each day that goes by with no resolution to the question, “Should I stay or should I go”? opens a new round of Blanche’s game with me. This game should have a name because we play it so often.  My Turn: I act after weighing the pros & cons of something I am considering.  It’s a process that takes days. When I feel satisfied that I have answered the right question with a thoughtful answer, then it’s Blanche’s turn. [She interrogates me]: “Is a different home really what you want?” “WHY?” “This one is finally the way you like it, and don’t forget: it took 20 years!” “Gonna start all over again, eh?” “Who will fix your car?” “What about the critters?” “You are putting them in danger” “Chester could get lost and eaten by a bear. or a weasel” “What if your dog makes everyone on the road fear & loathe you after he munches on some mini dogs and humans?”  “Where will you buy the food brands you like and/or GF & DF options?” “What if that house has LESS light than this one?” “It has 1 ceiling fan and only 1 air conditioning  unit” “Too much carpet” “Round sinks and NO dishwasher!” “If you don’t get full price, the deal is in jeopardy…you made a Junk Offer too – ya Loser” “You reached too high” “You acted rashly” “You don’t even know what you want” 

      [Her turn ends when she see my shoulders slump, face sag, darkly clouded thought bubbles hovering overhead and I begin muttering to myself as I board the Negative Thought train]

      “Shut Up Blanche!” [but it doesn’t work. She’s gotten to me] “Are you running from or running to?” “Do you think a change of scenery will change the way you operate?”  “What kind of work will you be able to find?” “Do you trust yourself to make a decent decision?”…

      “I win”

Yes. She wins this round. Think I’ll go take a hot shower.   kb.xo


Author: karenbesser

Tell you later.

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