I gotta get outta this place

It’s a figurative place, more of a condition really, and I dislike everything about it.

LIMBO.

After weeks of constantly going hard and “doing” to the point of exhaustion, it’s now become a waiting game. The sudden hard stop is a form of out-of-body experience: sort of like when you are cruising along at speed in a boat when the captain suddenly pulls back hard on the throttle and the boat ceases forward motion quickly, but the water keeps on rushing by and gives the vessel a stern forward shove. Except, we’re not moving forward. Or backward. Or sideways. We’re adrift.  Are we moving?  Are we staying? What can I tell our dog Leroy & cat Chester?  They are very confused by all the strange traffic, the daily relocation of their food bowls and sleeping places and sometimes even leaving home to drive around in the car.  All very unusual and frankly, a little worrisome. These activities run counter to the established rhythm of their animal days of quiet naps, occasional barking, a nibble from the bowl and back to napping until Mom & Dad return home.

The whole situation has the voice in my head (known as “Blanche”) whispering evil things to me such as:

“You’re never leaving this place”  “You’ll die here”  “Why would you leave this place”? “What’s so great about that other house”?   “Do you really want to move away from this lovely little cottage in the woods”?  “…to leave all the neighbors who have started to become friends”?  “It’s going to be difficult”   “You’ll be alone most of the time”  “There’s no good place to walk Leroy unless you load him in the car and drive somewhere”   “Chester may get lost and die alone in the bean field”  “Matt’s drive is going to be  really  l o n g”   “It is all your fault”   “You are being selfish”  “You are not in charge”  “You have driven your poor hub to the brink of insanity” “You will still be Kb., no matter where you live”  “You should have thought this through better before kicking the ball into motion”  “What if the internet is worse than here”?!? “Is that even possible”??  “Why couldn’t you leave well-enough alone”?

yada yada yada… in perpetuity….

SHUT UP BLANCHE!!                           Who asked you anyway?                  kb.xo

 

Author: karenbesser

Tell you later.

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