My advice to you would be: Don’t.
I’ve been on hold for
13:25, 15:30, 18:41, … the spectrum of irritation runs the gamut between pre-recorded “teaching moments” interspersed with looped “music” of the blandest sort possible (think Schroeder trying to appease Lucy with his little red Baby’s First Piano accompanied by some goofball fumbling with a bongo while banging on a wood block) and the brain-numbing exercise of searching for a form on the IRS.gov website. The forms are not organized alphabetically, numerically, by the Dewey decimal system, nor any other method recognizable to literate Americans. 28:51, so far…
Why on earth is the IRS so goddam busy on a random Thursday in September? Meanwhile, my ass is now numb too as we approach the half-hour mark of waiting. Today is ALL about waiting….
“Our representatives are still helping other customers. Please continue to hold”.
“If you hang up now and call back, please be advised: Your wait times may increase. Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received. Please be patient”
The trouble is, when someone finally DOES answer, I will have to remember my question and be able to articulate it. Politely. 40:22 You don’t want to anger the IRS people; same goes for a tattoo artist. They have the means to mess.you.up. 42:28
Will I never achieve a check mark on my Icky To-Do List?!!? I need a check mark!
45:01 DAMMIT JANET!
…and now, a car has pulled up and stopped out front of the window where I sit…
Potential buyer? Real estate agent? 49:03
54:11. that’s it. Uncle.